7 Tips to Avoid Getting Pranked

Friendly pranks will be the most memorable fun you'll ever have -- except when you're on the receiving end, in which case you're scarred for life and will never recover from the shame. (You're thinking of one right now, aren't you?) More campus hijinks are in your future, but these tips might help you deflect the worst damage onto some other unsuspecting schmuck.

#1 - Physical Security

Like theft, the majority of prank-based personal space invasion can be stopped in its tracks simply by locking home and car doors. After rattling your handle, the would-be invader usually decides to move on to an easier target instead of MacGyvering through the lock. The same goes for gym bags and other possessions -- keep 'em closed and the Limburger-cheese-trick will probably get pulled on a sloppier victim.

#2 - Neighborhood Watch

Take a bite out of dorm crime by buddying up with floormates. Agree to share rumors of impending prankage, and to sound the alarm when foul play is afoot. Everyone will be (and feel) safer, and not just from frat boys wielding water guns. Plus each new friend is, in theory, one less potential prankster plotting your ruin.

#3 - Savage Retaliation

If, no ... when you inevitably get pranked next, respond with overwhelming force. Like Mao said, "The best defense is a good offense." Gather your friends and plan, execute, and publicize a prank against your attacker at least an order of magnitude more awesome than his. You'll be avenged, and everybody will know better than to mess with you again. (Note: be careful not to apply this tactic against anyone who also subscribes to the notion of Savage Retaliation.)

#4 - Preemptive Strike

Fans of the show Kung Fu might recognize a paraphrasing of the quote above, "The hand which strikes, also blocks." If you know a prank is in the planning stage against you, turn the tables by pulling your own stunt first. Make sure you out-style your opponent enough to make his own prank not worth pulling. Publicize your conquest.

#5 - Zen

Ever have a kid go "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!" while holding his finger an inch from your nose? No amount of swatting, argument or threat will get that finger out of your face. The trick? Pretend having a finger in your face is perfectly natural, and in fact polite conversation. The problem goes away in moments. Deal with the realities of a prank (like cleaning up) and avoid any drama; your prankster will look for a more interesting target next time.

#6 - Misinformation

Claim to be out of town when you need quiet time at home. Claim you'll be home on April Fool's Day when in fact you're at the lake. Misinform known pranksters when they ask anything about you, from where you like to eat to what days you work. Don't talk too much about your own interest in pranks, it will only be taken as a challenge.

#7 - Honeypot

If you absolutely have to be pranked, perhaps as part of an annual tradition, make it easy for your pranker to "get you" in some small, recoverable, safe way. Buy a cheap Lawn Gnome and leave it on your doorstep to be stolen. Stand next to sprinklers. Leave your camera on the table when you have to leave the room for a few minutes. Create opportunities for minor mischief, and maybe you'll defuse a master prank.